THE ONE WHO FEARED HIM MOST

Everyone had a healthy respect for Jay Holmes, but there was one teacher who was terrified of him. Once when this timid soul was sneaking a smoke in the custodian's office and the principal walked in, he jumped on top of a desk behind a cabinet to avoid detection. The teachers at the annual Indian Lake stag weekend knew of his fears and decided to pull a prank on him. They gave him a bucket of water and asked him to help get back at a teacher who had been particularly loud and obnoxious that day. They led him into a bedroom and had him hold the bucket over the bed--poised ready to throw. He didn't see who it really was until the prankster pulled back the covers and ran from the room. Just then the fearsome principal opened up his eyes and said, "What are you going to do with that bucket, Raymond?" Immediately, the teacher dumped the water on himself and ran from the room.
 

THE EPILEPTIC SEIZURE

Years ago, before there was adequate medication, epileptic seizures were a serious problem for teachers. We simply were not prepared to handle such situations. It is difficult to imagine an incident where a seizure would be amusing, but there was an occurrence that was at least, bizarre.

Mr. Holmes sent a memo to the staff warning them that a certain student was subject to such attacks. One day the young man had a grand mal seizure in Miss M's class. Nearly hysteric, she ran into the hall and asked a male teacher to help her. The student was supposed to have a clothes pin in his back pocket to be placed between his teeth to prevent him from biting his tongue. While the other teacher struggled trying to find the clothes pin in the pockets of the youth who was thrashing wildly on the floor, the very religious Miss M urged her students to pray for help. Unable to find the clothes pin, the teacher, in desperation, pulled the American flag from its standard and put the wooden pole between the boy's teeth. By then, Miss M had her students on their knees with hands raised in prayer. Mr. B, the mildest, most irreligious person who ever taught at the school, heard the commotion and rushed into the room. When Mr. B saw Miss M and her class on their knees praying and the flag waving back and forth, he stopped, came to attention, clicked his heels, and saluted.
 

MONEY BAGS

Mr. B was athletic director and always had a pocket full of money from ticket sales. His accounting procedures were somewhat vague, and when anyone asked him how he kept the school's money separated from his own, he would reply, "The money in my right hand pocket belongs to me, and the money in my left hand pocket belongs to the school." There was a rumor that Mr. B was worth a lot of money. Once a teacher who was painting the interior of Mr. B's house found a twenty dollar bill behind an electrical receptacle. His reply to the discovery was, "Oh, yeah-- I forgot I put it there." When Mr. B retired, several teachers tried to buy his house.